TV Recap: Reverie – “I don’t want to leave”

“Pas de Deux” (Episode 106)
July 11, 2018

We have survived the two week break for the Fourth of July. Last episode we saw Mara enter the program with Ashley who was in a coma and didn’t know she was in the Reverie program at first. By the end of the episode, lives were saved and Mara was able to help her come to terms with her passing and get one last message to her mom. Lexi went on a not so great first ride along with Charlie and, at the end of the episode, gave Charlie a glimmer into her past. Mara didn’t have any derealization moments during this episode but that doesn’t mean they are gone.

Before diving into the episode, I just want to touch on something or enlighten. “Pas de Deux” means a dance between two people. As you move up the ranks of ballet classes if you get the opportunity to partner it is known as pas de deux. Ballet took up a huge portion of my life and seeing the title of this episode, I knew it was going to hit home in some capacity.

Without further a due, it’s time to break down the episode (Spoilers Ahead – Be warned)!

REVERIE — “Pas De Deux” Episode 106 — Pictured: Sally Pressman as Holly Maxwell — (Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)

In her apartment, we see Holly (Sally Pressman) drinking her coffee looking to be in a pretty dark place as her sister (Wynn Everett) asks her to join her. Holly declines as she doesn’t want to be looked at, her sister doesn’t agree but let’s her stay home. Holly moves herself from her wheelchair to the couch and once comfortable, she enters her Reverie. In the library, Holly is standing, wearing pointe ballet shoes and a practice outfit (soft pink leotard, tights and a shoulder cover.) A smile gleams across her face. She opens the door and walks onto a grand stage with a spotlight on her. She begins to dance across the stage. Back in her apartment, her sister returns to find Holly in the Reverie. “Oh not again”; Holly has escaped into the program like this before.

At Onira Tech, Mara is talking to Paul about her dream Reverie for the day. Basically no cars, no traffic, everyone walks everywhere. Paul let’s Mara know there is a shrink waiting in her office to see her about a patient. Mara seems surprised by this information. Once in her office, she is greeted by Chris (Sam Jaeger) who seems to be a familiar face. –Hey Mara…who is Chris? That wasn’t a “just a friend” hug.– Chris was surprised to learn that Mara was working at Onira Tech when he spoke to Charlie about the program and found out Mara was there as well. Mara apologizes for not calling him back…18 months ago. –So they do have a history.–

Mara reminds him that she was in a really bad place, he knows, he was there. She apologizes for the way she was back then and will keep apologizing. Chris tells her that he knows and he is going to be professional going forward. Chris and Mara go to the common area to discuss his patient. Chris explains to Mara what happened to cause Holly to become paralyzed. In summary, a bike accident that caused injury to her spinal column. Before that, she was a dancer in the city ballet. She came to him to help treat her depression after other treatments weren’t working – then she heard about Reverie. He was willing to let her try it even though he didn’t know much about it. As far as whether it helped or not … at first it did, but then she started spending more and more time in the program. An hour turned into multiple times a day every and now it’s been 16 hours.

–Mara you are going to have your work cut out with Holly. Once a dancer always a dancer. As a former ballet dancer, I get what being told you’ll never be able to dance again is like. I’ve been there.–

The length of time she has been in the program could lead to many health issues for Holly. Mara is ready to go in and help Holly but first Chris has some questions.

REVERIE — “The Black Mandala” Episode 107 — Pictured: (l-r) Dennis Haysbert as Charlie Ventana, Jessica Lu as Alexis Barrett, Sendhil Ramamurthy as Paul Hammond — (Photo by: Greg Gayne/NBC)

Paul is in the lab with Lexi and asks if she knows anything about “the shrink”. –Paul, Paul, Paul, are you jealous?– Lexi responds that she tries to not know anyone, it’s easier that way. Paul feels as if they knew each other. Charlie walks up on the tail end of the conversation. He fills Paul and Lexi in that Chris used to consult with the police department and worked on a few cases with Mara. Paul asks if they were a couple. Charlie doesn’t answer.

–Of course he doesn’t. Which obviously means yes they were.–

Now walking the halls, Chris is still processing what Mara does in the Reverie 2.0 program. She is doing what therapists are supposed to be doing. He asks if he can watch Mara while is in the Reverie. Mara explains that he would basically be watching her sleep until she returns. Chris realizes that may be a bit creepy if he were to watch so he settles on talking with her after instead.


Mara is in a seat in the theatre watching Holly perform. Holly finishes, Mara claps, and catches Holly off guard — her program is supposed to be private. Holly thinks she has been in the program for an hour not the 16 or 17 hours it’s actually been. Holly admits that she loses track of time. Mara explains that she understand why she loses track of time but the amount of time she has been in the program could cause serious health problems. Holly agrees, “let me go get my stuff…” –but Holly you don’t need to take anything with you.– She runs off stage and Mara tries to follow her but Holly locks the door. Exitus.

Mara is filling Chris in on what happened with Holly. Still trying to understand, Chris wonders if what she experienced is normal. Paul let’s Chris and Mara know that Holly is now being transferred to Onira Tech. Mara formally introduces Chris and Paul to each other. –Which, to no one’s surprise, is awkward as hell.– Mara is confused as to why Holly is dancing with no audience. Paul suggests that it could be wish fulfillment and just wanting to be moving again. Chris doesn’t understand why she wouldn’t choose somewhere other than in the the theatre, he believes there must be some significance to the theatre. Mara adds how Holly intentionally locked Mara out so there must be something she is trying to protect. Paul suggests for Mara to talks to Holly’s sister Vivian, “Viv.”

Mara goes to Holly and Viv’s apartment to talk to Vivian. Medical transport is there to take Holly to Onira Tech. Vivian doesn’t understand why she is going there and not a regular hospital. Mara reassures her that Holly will be well taken care of. Vivian is going around Holly’s room packing things for her stay. Mara finds a music box on Holly’s night stand with “my dearest love” engraved on the inside. She asks Viv if she knows who the box is from, Viv is unsure. The music was the same music from Holly’s Reverie, Viv does say it could be from Zeke – Holly’s ex-boyfriend. They were in the same dance company but he left her right after the accident. Viv was not a fan. She asks Mara if she’ll be able to get Holly back, Mara will do all that she can.

Back at Onira Tech, Mara is surprised to see that Chris is still there. Mara is amazed by the dancer Holly was and let’s Chris know. The more he can share the more likely she will be able to help Holly. She knows he can’t break patient-doctor confidentiality. He knows he can’t do that but he has some other ideas and asks Mara to dinner. –awkward.–

Chris runs into Charlie and is happy to see him again. Chris congratulates Charlie on all that he is doing and takes a jab at the fact Charlie can no longer be stuck with a flip phone. Conversation changes to Mara and how Chris has been trying to help with Holly’s case. Charlie’s guard immediately goes up and let’s Chris know that he thinks the work Mara has been doing is helping her heal. Chris doesn’t argues this he knows how PTSD works. Before getting in the elevator Charlies drops a verbal bomb… he wants to know if Chris is there as Holly’s doctor or Mara’s ex. –Oh Sheit I mean I felt like this where it was headed but now we have confirmation. So will working together be enough to heal old wounds?–

At dinner Chris shares his theory on why Holly isn’t performing for an audience. The program isn’t able to give her a real audience then she doesn’t have to worry about winning anyone over so she can dance just to dance. Mara shares her theory that Holly is protecting something behind the door. Chris grunts in disagreement. There is something that she is trying to keep safe, a safe space just for her. Chris turns this to find out if they are still cracking down on Holly or now talking about Mara. She goes on that when she lost her sister and niece she did all she do to survive and even surviving was hard. –If you’ve ever struggled from a terrible loss you know exactly what Mara is talking about. Those dark days.– She didn’t mean to hurt him and he knows that.

After dinner Mara and Chris return to Mara’s house and is searching for something. She pulls a book from her book shelf and hands it to Chris. He asks her if she like it. Mara tries to weasel her way out but Chris sees right through her and calls her on it. Before he leaves while saying goodbye they have a moment, no kiss but for sure a moment. Chris reminds Mara to be herself when talking to Holly.

Mara pulls her phone out to call Paul to meet her at the office she has an idea. — Mara and her ideas. I wonder what it will be this time.–


Mara is in the Reverie library dress as if she is ready to take a ballet class. She walks through the doorway and onto the stage where Holly joins her. Holly isn’t receptive of Mara wanting to take a lesson at first but when Mara says she wants to feel what Holly feels when she dances, she comes around. “For god’s sake plie when you land.” Holly says with a chuckle watching Mara struggle. –Plie is a very important in ballet.– Holly is onto what Mara is doing and then admits to being lonely at times. Mara “gets” the combination and they continue. After they do the combo Holly breaks it down more. When dancing, portraying the moves and expressing the feelings with each reach of the arm and point of the toe. The audience will feel without hearing a single word. Holly mentions to reach with the arm toward your lover behind the door. Mara asks about the locked door and Holly tells her it wasn’t locked until she started poking around. Mara asks about the piece she is rehearsing and if she would perform it with Zeke? Holly’s guard is up and asks her why Mara is trying to find out more? There is a knock from the door. Holly is mad, Mara needs to go and pushes her down and runs for the door. Exitus.

Mara heads to the place where Holly used to dance to talks with Zeke. Mara explains that she is trying to help Holly through something and mentions taking their break up hard which confuses Zeke since Holly broke up with him. Mara is surprised by this. Zeke explains that after the accident he was was ready to be in it for the long haul with Holly then out of the blue she ended it and never wanted to see him again. Zeke doesn’t have a lot of time before their class break ends; Mara asks about the music box. He doesn’t know what she is talking about. –We are missing something, but what?–

Once again Mara turns to Paul to talk things thru because she is realizing everything she knows doesn’t make sense. She knows the answers are behind the door and she can’t get there. Paul goes on to explain another characteristic of the Reverie and I’m going to summarize his explanation.

(Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)

Basically there has to be another way behind that door all she has to do is find it. Charlie enters – Holly is in trouble. They go to Holly’s room where she is coughing up blood. There isn’t a lot of time, Mara has to get her out sooner than later or she won’t make it.


REVERIE — “Pas De Deux” Episode 106 — Pictured: Sarah Shahi as Mara Kint — (Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)

On the stage alone Mara starts checking all of the doors to find another way to Holly. Behind the grand tier emergency exit she finds the one. On the other side she finds a cottage in an open flower field. Inside, she finds a little girl working on an art project. The little girl’s name is Sadie (Ireland Richards) and Mara is excited to find her.

Holly comes from the kitchen surprised to find Mara. She sends Sadie to the kitchen for a snack so the grown-ups can talk. Holly asks if Mara knew, she didn’t but she wondered. Holly goes on sharing that Zeke never wanted kids and while trying to figure out how to tell him. She had her accident and lost it all. The music box was supposed to be a gift for Sadie. The only person she ever told was Chris. Holly was excited to be able to be a dancer and a mom. Two things she always want then the accident happened and she woke up to be told she would never dance again or have a child. When she found Reverie, it was able to help her with both of her problems that caused her so much pain.

Mara tries to explain that this place isn’t real, she can’t stay. Holly doesn’t see the point of returning to the world. Mara flat out tells her she is dying out there. Holly doesn’t have anything out there, everything she wakes up for is in the program. “But if you die out there, you die in here too” Mara tell her. The best moments of Holly’s life have been while she is dancing or having a life with Sadie in the program. Whatever time she has left she wants to stay in the program dancing and with her daughter. Sadie calls for Holly and then she tells Mara to go. Exitus.

REVERIE — “Pas De Deux” Episode 106 — Pictured: Sendhil Ramamurthy as Paul Hammond — (Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)

Mara is trying to go through things with Paul and Lexi to figure out what to do next. –Will this be the first person Mara can’t save?– Paul isn’t sure there is anything else they can do, Mara has explain what will happen to Holly and she is choosing to stay. Lexi doesn’t agree, she isn’t going to let her die in the program. She thinks they should disable the BCI even though they don’t know what the effects will be. Lexi didn’t design the program to be a suicide mission for users. Paul doesn’t agree as this procedure was never discussed with Holly. “Reverie is supposed to make lives better not end them,” Lexi slams. Mara stands up and tell them she wants one more chance to go back in.

REVERIE — “Pas De Deux” Episode 106 — Pictured: Jessica Lu as Alexis Barrett — (Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)

Mara goes to find Chris to talk about what is going on. Holly knows what will happen if she stays and Mara won’t let that happen. Mara reveals that she knows about Sadie. Mara is upset that Chris couldn’t tell her sooner that it would have saved so much time but alas … therapist. Mara is torn Holly is happy in the program but Mara knows what will happen. She doesn’t want to force her to do something she doesn’t want to do. Chris doesn’t understand what Mara does in the program but has faith she will figure this out. Mara is mad at his comment she knows he is waiting for the other shoe to drop. –Oh the honesty train has arrived.– Chris supported Mara he knew she would be back and then she gave up and walked away. Not only from her career but also on their relationship. Chris couldn’t believe it and now seeing Mara he doesn’t know what to think. Mara is there to get to advice so Chris gives it. “It’s not okay to give up”; not now not then. Chris knows she loved her niece and sister but Chris loved her too. On that note, Mara “thanks” him and leave. –I’m virtually wrapping my arms around Mara. There are normally casualties when you mourn a big loss.–

Before she goes back to Onira Tech Mara makes a stop at Vivian’s dance academy. Vivian is helping dancers gather their things between classes and things are a little bit chaotic. Mara asks if she can pull Viv away to talk about Holly. Before they can walk away Viv goes weak in the knees. In her office Mara is handing Viv a glass of water and shares that she is in the early stages of MS but hasn’t gotten to the scary stages yet. She hasn’t shared it with Holly yet, she has too much going on. She doesn’t want to make Holly feel worse. Mara thinks it would be just the opposite — that it would actually help Holly.

REVERIE — “Pas De Deux” Episode 106 — Pictured: Sarah Shahi as Mara Kint — (Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)

Apertus. The music is loud and Holly is dancing on the stage  as Mara joins her. Holly thought Mara left. Mara wants to talk to Holly about her sister. “Viv is better off without me.” Mara tells Holly that her sister is sick and that she has MS. Of course Holly doesn’t believe her. Mara explains the way Holly escaped by contracting into herself, she wasn’t able to see what was going on around her. Holly is surprised to find out her sister wouldn’t tell her. Mara reminds Holly that she dances to express herself and some people can’t do that. Viv doesn’t know how to express herself or ask for help. Holly still isn’t convinced. Mara explains that she is giving up on her life and the real people out there who support her, they need her. “I don’t want to leave.” Holly knows if she leaves, she won’t be able to come back. Only going into the program for a little bit she can’t. All or nothing. She won’t walk again or see Sadie grow up. Holly asks for Mara’s help before she goes. Mara agrees.

REVERIE — “Pas De Deux” Episode 106 — Pictured: (l-r) Sally Pressman as Holly Maxwell, Ireland Richards as Sadie — (Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)

Reset the stage and the curtain goes up and Mara is in the audience. Holly is on stage with Sadie pas de deux giving one final performance together to the music from the music box. Confetti falls from the rafters and Holly says her goodbye to Sadie. Sadie runs off stage and Holly sits on her knees crying. Exitus. 

Holly is awake in her bed. At Viv’s dance studio Holly is there to help her sister. Her spirits have been renewed. She is there now and she wants to help in any way she can. Viv asks Holly to teach a young class of ballerinas and they to the bar. Holly is smiling and beaming.

Mara goes to Chris to talk. She misses him, he’s her favorite person. She’s been trying to put the pieces back together, she’s just not there yet. Chris understands. “You said I quit.” Chris knows he shouldn’t have said that, he admits it. She knows he was right when talking about then but that’s behind her, she isn’t quitting anymore. “Whenever you are ready call me,” she will when she is ready and Chris gives her a big hug.

Walking into LA Metro Medical Hospital Mara is on a mission but what is she doing. Room 321. Mara stands at the foot of a hospital bed and we are flashed back to when Ray took the lives of Jamie and Brynn but somehow he survived the gunshot to his head. –Now that’s a cliffhanger.–


REVERIE — “Pas De Deux” Episode 106 — Pictured: (l-r) Ireland Richards as Sadie, Sally Pressman as Holly Maxwell — (Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)


Diving into my feelings.

On more than one occasion this episode tugged at my heartstrings. This episode hit home in so many ways for me so for me this episode was more than just another page of the Reverie book. My personal feelings aside, we for the first time saw that Mara may not be able to get a user out of the program. With time she was able to do so but they had to talk about the options on whether they couldn’t. We still don’t know what would happen if they disabled a BCI of a user who is in the program. Hopefully we don’t have to find out but could be on the horizon. How would Mara handle if she can’t get a user out of the program? Another point that could become a factor.

Seeing Holly struggle with going back to the world that she doesn’t feel as if she belongs anymore and the world she wishes she still had. A world that was taken away because of one silly bike accident. Holly trying to decide which world she would rather be in the program for just a bit longer even if she might die or go back leaving dance and Sadie behind. In time after learning about her sister her heart changes and the goodbyes happen. Holly’s journey to understanding is layered, it pulls, and its emotional. Maybe I’m biased but this was excellence.  

We have 6 days before the next episode and all I’m going to say is be prepared have anything you need ready because you aren’t going to want to get up for the chance you may miss a minute.

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